20 week Prep - Road to defending State Title

[Guvnor]

Interesting feelings today after 11 days of calorie deficit and controlling my cravings, hunger and entering a dieting phase. A bigger deficit by quite a bit than I normally would have if I were 20 weeks out from a show.

I have feelings that I felt pre contest. My wife commented on my face pulling in, all classical signs of dieting for me.

I now feel like I don't want to stop dieting, I want to keep losing weight. If I was to stop the calorie deficit, how would I cope with stopping this without achieving an end goal. What is my end goal? And without stepping onstage, how can I be satisfied with the outcome with no finale?

Can I go back to being heavier like I was with no guilt because I stopped pushing?

All disordered thoughts. I don't have the answers, and I don't know if extreme dieting plays a major role on eating behaviours in the long run.

[Guvnor]

11.8.18

W - 88.5

10,300 steps yesterday.

Yesterday morning I ate 2 meals at 530am and 830am that were more carb based to offset the risk of me vacating the diet. I felt very hungry the night before and woke up feeling flat. After the 2 meals i felt like I was back on track. I factored in the calorie content and ate mostly veg and protein for the remainder of the day.

As there is no end goal and nobody for me to be accountable to, I chose the eat differently. It's common to see bodybuilders binge eat or have the famous cheat meal that involves large amounts of anticipation and anxiety. yesterday I strategically ate 2 bigger meals early on to satisfy myself and ensure I was able to stay on my diet. The meals were definitely not big and they involved small amounts of protein, oats, berries, fresh natural yoghurt etc. not a big dirty cheat meal to plaster all over the gram.

today I feel ok and will train around midday. W3 D1 session that escalates in volume.

[Guvnor]

Trained today around 1130am. Tried that new GAT PsychOn, feedback at the bottom.

Bench - 4 x 10 (managed 4 x 8)

30 Deg Inc DB Press - 4 x 10

Pull Ups x 28

Pendlay Row - 3 x 8

Side Laterals - 3 x 15

DB Curls - 3 x 10

DB Skull Crushers - 2 x 12

I felt like sh*t training today. i don't think it was the pre workout, it's the drop in calories.

Maybe the pre workout didn't help but the citrulline malate train is off rails. It doesn't do anything IMO and this pre has 8.2g.

I felt energy zapped and flat. I got an OK pump but certainly a bad workout. I think in all my preps, I've felt like this twice.

My normal course of action would be to refeed but i won't do that. I'll train tomorrow (legs) to see how I go. If performance is down again then it's my drop in calories.

If it's back to normal then it's the pre workout.

Did 7800 steps today.

calories are way off today. under by quite a bit with mainly fats to find and make up.

[Guvnor]

12.8.18

W - 88.5kg

Same weight 3 days in a row.

Did 20 mins on the treadmill last night at 6.5 kph with a 3.5 deg incline.

I'll train today - W2 D2 - Legs with main compounds being frankenstein squats and deads.

[Guvnor]

I return to work tomorrow after a 2 week parental leave. Beauty is, I never stopped working (not beauty, have no choice), was just doing so from home and I was able to train easily enough with no time restrictions, within reason.

Tomorrow onwards will be a truer test if I can maintain what I'm doing.

Trained today;

Frankenstein Squat - 4 x 6

Deads - 3 x 2

Prone Hams - 3 x 8

Standing Single Leg Ham Curl - 3 x 10

Toe Press - 3 x 15

Seated Calf Raise - 3 x 20

Donkey Calves - 2 x 20

It's 650pm and I've only done about 6000 steps so I'll go out for a lap and get that up to around 8000 steps.

Also;

I trained ok today. No signs of performance issues and i deadlifted better this week versus last week.

I put yesterday's poor performance down to the GAT PsychOn. It was an energy crash over a performance dip.

If I had fatigued due to calorie restriction, I'd have felt it today but didn't.

[Guvnor]

13.8.18

W - 88.5kg

4 days in a row. Bit weird, longest streak i've tracked is 3 days at the same weight.

No training today as 1st day back at work so wanted to see how it went. I did go to the gym at night time for 20 mins cardio - 3.5 deg incline at 6.5 kph.

steps today are 9000.

Issue with my tracking. For convenience I use microwave rice 250g packs. Some packs say 80g carbs per bag and others day 130g per bag.

I believe it's 80g's per back as 250g of cooked rice is 80g IMO. or closer to 80g CHO than 130g.

I have tracked today as being 2 bags at 160g all in. 500g of jasmine rice that is.

I am not tracking the bags claim of 130g per bag so 260g.

my weight tomorrow could kind of dictate what number is right.

I'm in a bit of a mental dilemma just now. i don't know if I should keep trying to lose weight or not.

I need to find a new structure. I have 5 workouts per 7 days. I hate training at night next to all the meatheads but I may not have too much of an option. I'm thinking about;

M - off
T - off
W - session 1 early or late - upper
T - session 2 early - lower
F - session 3 late - upper
S - session 4 midday - lower
S - session 5 midday - upper

or

M - off
T - session 5 early - upper
W - off
T - session 1 early - upper
F - session 2 late - lower
S - session 3 midday - upper
S - session 4 midday - lower

A big part of my progress and change is to be able to train, with no major time restrictions. it's all work in progress and will see how it all goes.

i do know one thing, if i've weighed the same 4 days in a row then i know i'll struggle to see 85kg without doing something drastic or in the short term.

[Guvnor]

14.8.18

W - 88.1kg

So a drop in weight. Yesterday I was unsure about the macro content (the true content) of my microwave jasmine rice. As my weight has fallen it's be prudent to suggest the macro's are lower than advertised.

I don't know if i will train today yet. i will see how I feel tonight, i really would prefer to train in the morning.

[Guvnor]

15.8.18

W - unsure as deliberately didn't weigh in.

Yesterday I felt I was taking my weight loss too seriously. I have no end goal and I'm unsure where to stop or where I'm going with this.

Last night before bed I was really hungry and I have been for the last week or more, so I go to bed hungry.

Last night I decided to break the routine and I ate around 75g of carbs just to end my increasingly obsessive weight loss run.

I need to ease up and stop limiting myself. I will reassess my goals and keep maintaining my training program.

Perhaps a 90kg with increased muscle mass is a more favourable target.

[Guvnor]

Short video and into to the business I operate here in Perth, Western Australia.

I moved to Aus 12 years ago to work in the sports nutrition industry and have worked my way up over the years. I'm happy with where i've come from and where i'm at. I wouldn't change anything that I did when I was young as it's technically set me up for where I am today.