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  • #16
    Originally posted by Qubabe View Post
    Thank you! Honestly I just wanted to see if any girls here who have lives like mine had the same problem in the dating scene. Maybe I'm the only one that is single and still looking for my Mr Right.
    Truthfully, while you have many good qualities about you, your chances of finding "Mr. Right" are greatly reduced with your current mind-set and even if you do, it is doubtful he will stick around if you continue to remain that unavailable. Now, I completely hear ya' when you say you don't want someone whining if you don't get a chance to call them everyday. As long as they know beforehand how busy you are and the amount of time you have to invest in the relationship, then they can make the decision of whether or not they want to stick around or not. Your much less likely to encounter this problem if they know up front you have time contraints which prevent daily communication.

    Now, if your other stuff going on IS more important than the person you think may be "Mr. Right" (which WILL show in the amount of time you dedicate to him) and your still not willing to open up more time, then your just not at a point in your life where you're ready to find Mr. Right. It's easy to say were ready, but our actions will show whether that is true or not. Truthfully, most men who really like you...those who want to have a serious relationship with you, will NOT be happy only talking to you 3X a week for 10 minutes at a time....and seeing ou only once every 1-2 weeks. A dating schedule of once every 1-2 weeks can work out fine in the beginning, but if he really likes you, that won't satisfy him for long. If at that point your still unwilling to invest additional time...or make time...he will likely move on after realzing you don't feel the same for him as he dos for you.

    Now, you may find a man who is very busy himself and who doesn't seem to have much time either, but those type of relationships, where both people are always busy running each other very little time...these relationships almost always die out because that's not the way a serious relationship thrives or grows. Additionally, men who are OK with that type of low-commitment, low-investment relationship usually aren't looking for a serious relationship, but simply someone to meet their basic needs (alleviation of lonliness, sex, etc).

    Men who are confident and secure in themselves will find a woman with ambition, drive, capability, and confidence to be attractive, while insecure men who lack confidence will find those character attributes undesirable....even if they don't admit it. These men may appear to appreciate those qualities in a woman on the outside, but inside it makes them feel worse about themselves and they will begin to resent or despise those things about her. Confident and secure men will feel just the opposite. Even then, confident and secure men will NOT want to see the woman they love or are falling in love with, on a limited basis. They will not want to feel like they are on the back-burner or unimportant. Even if a woman is completely capable of taking care of herself physically, every man still needs to think she still needs him. She doesn't have to need him for money, resources, or protection, but he will need to feel that she needs him on a deeper which cannot be met by anything else but him. That is what draws males and females together in the first place....a basic need for companionship and intimacy with each other. If he feels you don't even need him for that and you show it in your actions, he will go find someone who does need him. He may wait around for a little while..maybe even longer than that if he really likes you, but eventually, if his feelings and needs are not reciprocated, he will leave.

    Either way, whatever you choose is fine if that is what you want to do, but just keep in mind that your choices will directly influence the probability of success in a relationship. You cannot remain disconnected and continue to believe your chances of finding Mr. Right are still just as good, or else you will just be decieving yourself. If the things going on in your life are a priority right now, that is completely fine....just be aware that it is your choice to prioritize those things and whatever we priortize, it is in those areas that we stand the greatest chance of success.

    Knowing of you what I know and seeing your pics, you should have no problem finding someone who displays the personality characteristic you find desirable, as well as someone who is attractive, intelligent, and makes decent money, but they aren't very likely to be escorted to your doorstep with a sign that reads "Willing to play 2nd fiddle to everything else in your life. Thank you".
    Last edited by Mike Arnold; July 30, 2011, 05:30 AM.


    • #17
      Originally posted by Qubabe View Post
      Thank you! Honestly I just wanted to see if any girls here who have lives like mine had the same problem in the dating scene. Maybe I'm the only one that is single and still looking for my Mr Right.
      Right (no pun intended).


      • #18
        Mike, very well spoken and you brought up a lot of excellent, very true points!
        Try not to let hurdles hold you down because they will always be there.


        • #19
          Stop looking for Mr. Right! He's suppose to FIND YOU! smiling...
          JOIN my health transformation challenge
          www dot flexwithdrexfor90days dot bodybyvi dot com


          • #20
            horses are beautiful

            one problem that has seemed to stalk me is this cross i have to drag around otherwise known as my face

            at the beginning of a relationship, women express sentiments to me along the lines of 'you're like a having a boyfriend and a best girlfriend all in one' because they can talk to me about the things that women care about and i'm good at it

            romantic things, poetry, art, picking out clothes, furniture, etc.
            athletic but spend no time on sports(never look at them) so she gets all that attention

            but eventually, a certain not-quite-alive thing slithers up out of them to try to rip me apart because they are competing with a girlfriend who is good at everything they care about and she is taller and stronger and a man and can fix the car, too.

            it seems a woman can forgive a man for any heinous thing: cheat one her, beat the kids, steal money out of her purse
            anything as long as she can feel superior to him in some way
            maybe he's stupid or he can't dress himself or he feels naked in a suit unless he has his baseball cap on
            or he's pug-ugly
            then it's all forgiveable

            but i'm not even clumsy
            i don't knock things over or make a lot of noise on the stairs
            you can't talk to your girlfriends 'over my head' about me (i get it all)
            not much to laugh at me about

            i think what touches off the powder-keg is that i'm as pretty as most women
            only a few model-tier women are prettier than me
            not many people are both prettier than me and smarter than me

            and so each time is like a zombie movie where the person you loved is bitten in front of you and you watch the slow transformation until one day you wake up beside someone who is dead on the inside and trying to eat you

            and you know this is how the story ends

            i don't understand it
            why does a woman want to be submissive to someone who she feels is beneath her? is masochistic and degrading

            why do women read all these romance novels and watch all these movies about sexy masterful men who live in their pick-up camper and don't care about anything except their integrity but when one wanders by in front of them they rush him to the vet to get him neutered?
            Originally posted by bolsen
            Whatever you do, don't take a screenshot and post that pm...


            • #21
              Hows it goin everybody? : )

              I dont post too much on this forum and just happened to stumble on this thread and have a question for the original poster and I'm not sure if it's been asked you really WANT a relationship right now?

              And that's not meant to come off as a smart ass or anything I was just curious.