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Originally posted by Qubabe
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Now, if your other stuff going on IS more important than the person you think may be "Mr. Right" (which WILL show in the amount of time you dedicate to him) and your still not willing to open up more time, then your just not at a point in your life where you're ready to find Mr. Right. It's easy to say were ready, but our actions will show whether that is true or not. Truthfully, most men who really like you...those who want to have a serious relationship with you, will NOT be happy only talking to you 3X a week for 10 minutes at a time....and seeing ou only once every 1-2 weeks. A dating schedule of once every 1-2 weeks can work out fine in the beginning, but if he really likes you, that won't satisfy him for long. If at that point your still unwilling to invest additional time...or make time...he will likely move on after realzing you don't feel the same for him as he dos for you.
Now, you may find a man who is very busy himself and who doesn't seem to have much time either, but those type of relationships, where both people are always busy running aorund...giving each other very little time...these relationships almost always die out because that's not the way a serious relationship thrives or grows. Additionally, men who are OK with that type of low-commitment, low-investment relationship usually aren't looking for a serious relationship, but simply someone to meet their basic needs (alleviation of lonliness, sex, etc).
Men who are confident and secure in themselves will find a woman with ambition, drive, capability, and confidence to be attractive, while insecure men who lack confidence will find those character attributes undesirable....even if they don't admit it. These men may appear to appreciate those qualities in a woman on the outside, but inside it makes them feel worse about themselves and they will begin to resent or despise those things about her. Confident and secure men will feel just the opposite. Even then, confident and secure men will NOT want to see the woman they love or are falling in love with, on a limited basis. They will not want to feel like they are on the back-burner or unimportant. Even if a woman is completely capable of taking care of herself physically, every man still needs to think she still needs him. She doesn't have to need him for money, resources, or protection, but he will need to feel that she needs him on a deeper level...one which cannot be met by anything else but him. That is what draws males and females together in the first place....a basic need for companionship and intimacy with each other. If he feels you don't even need him for that and you show it in your actions, he will go find someone who does need him. He may wait around for a little while..maybe even longer than that if he really likes you, but eventually, if his feelings and needs are not reciprocated, he will leave.
Either way, whatever you choose is fine if that is what you want to do, but just keep in mind that your choices will directly influence the probability of success in a relationship. You cannot remain disconnected and continue to believe your chances of finding Mr. Right are still just as good, or else you will just be decieving yourself. If the things going on in your life are a priority right now, that is completely fine....just be aware that it is your choice to prioritize those things and whatever we priortize, it is in those areas that we stand the greatest chance of success.
Knowing of you what I know and seeing your pics, you should have no problem finding someone who displays the personality characteristic you find desirable, as well as someone who is attractive, intelligent, and makes decent money, but they aren't very likely to be escorted to your doorstep with a sign that reads "Willing to play 2nd fiddle to everything else in your life. Thank you".
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