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  • How To 'Monitor' Kid's PC Activity?

    Whats happening guys? Okay, here's the deal. My daughter is 14 and lately my wife and I have been concerned with her pc activity. We've noticed that her male facebook friends list is growing consistently. She's also on a lot of webcam sites and things of that nature. Every time we walk in her room she closes her current window down, also acts nervous every time we get within 5 feet of her computer. We've also noticed some attitude changes as of late as well as homework not getting done.

    I know, I know, kids are kids and will be kids. This kind of activity is normal for her coming of age. However, we as parents just want to make sure she's not doing anything she shouldn't be or talking to anyone she's not supposed to.

    What's the best approach to find out what she's doing on webcam or whom she might be talking to? I know this sounds like a real dick move and believe me, I don't want to invade her privacy no more than I'd want mine invaded. But as a parent I feel like its the only step to make sure she's not headed down the wrong path.

  • #2
    I know this thread is older but wanted to answer in case you were still searching. You could try an internet filter to block certain websites, force safe searching and stuff like that. A good free program can be found in the link below.

    http://www1.k9webprotection.com/



    If you wanted to have a complete "spy" package there used to be a program called watchdog that would monitor chat rooms, take screen shots, and quite a few other things without your kid/kids knowing it is running in the background.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Jay495 View Post
      Whats happening guys? Okay, here's the deal. My daughter is 14 and lately my wife and I have been concerned with her pc activity. We've noticed that her male facebook friends list is growing consistently. She's also on a lot of webcam sites and things of that nature. Every time we walk in her room she closes her current window down, also acts nervous every time we get within 5 feet of her computer. We've also noticed some attitude changes as of late as well as homework not getting done.

      I know, I know, kids are kids and will be kids. This kind of activity is normal for her coming of age. However, we as parents just want to make sure she's not doing anything she shouldn't be or talking to anyone she's not supposed to.

      What's the best approach to find out what she's doing on webcam or whom she might be talking to? I know this sounds like a real dick move and believe me, I don't want to invade her privacy no more than I'd want mine invaded. But as a parent I feel like its the only step to make sure she's not headed down the wrong path.

      you answered your own question. leave your daughter alone. shes probably 20 times more net savy than you are anyways. talk about "daddy issues",...your girl is gonna have loads of them if you do this kinda shit
      "Feel ill as fuck - not sure if it is protein powder or tren?"-bigdog123

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      • #4
        You could always try talking, I heard it works great for finding out what people are up to and how they're feeling. It's time consuming though so I can see why you'd want to spy on her instead.
        You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?

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        • #5
          Depends on how you use the programs. As someone in the information security field, these programs when setup properly are very beneficial. There are a lot of ways for kids (including teenagers) to get themselves in situations that they feel they can control when the reality is they can't.

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          • #6
            God damn kids. What ever happened to hiding simple porn mags under your bed??
            "#KillingShitz #HaterRepz"

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            • #7
              Screw some of these comments. They are your KIDS!!! As long as you arent being abusive and they are living under your roof as dependants, then you are within your rights to ask/talk, snoop etc.

              Thats part of the problem with the youth today IMO; we have impowered them far too much with their own sense of "privacy" and "entitlement".

              If you really want to see what your kids are doing, set up some faux accounts, friend them and see how they conduct themselves (how you proceed from there will determine the outcome).

              Not to be religious, but I find it funny that God watches, sees and judges all, but as parents we are supposed to let our kids do what they want??? Privacy etc. are things that are earned as one matures. And even then, can be taken away if one does not excercise responsibility with that privacy. Once your 18 and or on your own, THEN you can call the shots.

              I say talk first. Then if still skeptical, set up monitoring/filter. If behavior and actions become really bad, time for some faux accounts and/or restriction from cyberspace (computer, smartphone etc.)

              Kids suck!!! j/k

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Beast In The Basement View Post
                Screw some of these comments. They are your KIDS!!! As long as you arent being abusive and they are living under your roof as dependants, then you are within your rights to ask/talk, snoop etc.

                Thats part of the problem with the youth today IMO; we have impowered them far too much with their own sense of "privacy" and "entitlement".

                If you really want to see what your kids are doing, set up some faux accounts, friend them and see how they conduct themselves (how you proceed from there will determine the outcome).

                Not to be religious, but I find it funny that God watches, sees and judges all, but as parents we are supposed to let our kids do what they want??? Privacy etc. are things that are earned as one matures. And even then, can be taken away if one does not excercise responsibility with that privacy. Once your 18 and or on your own, THEN you can call the shots.

                I say talk first. Then if still skeptical, set up monitoring/filter. If behavior and actions become really bad, time for some faux accounts and/or restriction from cyberspace (computer, smartphone etc.)

                Kids suck!!! j/k
                They are his kids, but they are not his property. My only point was that he should probably try talking to her before spying on her. And it's not just little kids who feel entitled nowadays. If you're the kind of person who would invade your kids privacy before trying to talk to them and develop a relationship with them where they wouldn't feel the NEED to hide what they do (and that's only unrealistic nowadays because parents generally don't pay attention to their kids if they can let the TV do it for them), then it's no wonder your kid is doing messed up stuff. I agree that he should try talking first, but I know for a fact that plenty of parents nowadays make absolutely no effort to communicate with their kids and are fine with letting crappy TV-series raise them, yet think it's totally justified for them to watch their every move if they might do something that's bad for them (if your kids aren't aware of what's bad for them or feel the need to rebel so badly that it doesn't matter to them, the parents probably did a pretty bad job in the first place).

                Kids do suck though.
                You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?

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                • #9
                  I have two teenagers both boys and the computer is off the dining room( NO DOORS ...ITS AN OPEN AREA)....ya wanna use it then by all means log on and use it but be certain mama is watching you and if ya think ya can be slick then think again. Thus far I have had no problems with them logging on and using it and they have yet hid anything from me but one thing for sure is we keep an open line of communication and these lil men are open with me about girls, sex and who they befriend. I know its not easy for teens to be open and trusting of parents all the time but if ya give them the right to think that they are entitled to sooo much privacy and that they are deserving of stuff in general when they are disrespectful, rude and feel entitled to more than what they are owed then ya might wanna rethink who is the authority figure in the home. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO MAKE YOUR CHILD MAD at YOU for asking questions or being an involved parent...its part of our job...to protect them and love them as well as to guide them in the right direction as they grow into adults and sure THEY WILL GET MAD BUT they do get over it especially if they know your doing it for their safety and out of love and concern.

                  One thing for sure is if he/she is shutting the screen on comp when ya walk in its because they are doing and saying something they are not suppose to do and something you would not approve of.

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                  • #10
                    If your really worried you can get netnanny.
                    Ah shucks BK is fine wit me. I'm low maintenance" Beni Mama

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by lil mama View Post
                      I have two teenagers both boys and the computer is off the dining room( NO DOORS ...ITS AN OPEN AREA)....ya wanna use it then by all means log on and use it but be certain mama is watching you and if ya think ya can be slick then think again. Thus far I have had no problems with them logging on and using it and they have yet hid anything from me but one thing for sure is we keep an open line of communication and these lil men are open with me about girls, sex and who they befriend. I know its not easy for teens to be open and trusting of parents all the time but if ya give them the right to think that they are entitled to sooo much privacy and that they are deserving of stuff in general when they are disrespectful, rude and feel entitled to more than what they are owed then ya might wanna rethink who is the authority figure in the home. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO MAKE YOUR CHILD MAD at YOU for asking questions or being an involved parent...its part of our job...to protect them and love them as well as to guide them in the right direction as they grow into adults and sure THEY WILL GET MAD BUT they do get over it especially if they know your doing it for their safety and out of love and concern.

                      One thing for sure is if he/she is shutting the screen on comp when ya walk in its because they are doing and saying something they are not suppose to do and something you would not approve of.


                      yeah but come on now, no one wants their mom reading what they are writing. thats bull, and you know it. even if im writing something totally PG, i wouldnt want my mom or wife or anyone reading it because its kinda embarrasing sometimes. privacy is golden. shouldnt matter if they are 14, or 50. there is no need to spy, or even worry about why they dont want u seeing the screen. parents dont need to know about everything thats going on in their kids life. at some point, u need to draw the line and let them do what their going to do, and just trust them. they are people and individuals too. in some ways the new technology kids have today is awesome, and in some ways, its bad (being monitored, always knowing whats going on by your parents, etc.). sometimes im envious of kids these days in middle school and HS who can get laid super easy yusing facebook and shit and alwatys being connected at anytime. must be cool as shit. on the other hand, you got over bearing parents who now use this to look in on their kids and try to KNOW EVERYTHING going on. in that case, i dont envy it. For the most part, my parents were clueless to my shaninigans, and i turned out just fine.

                      spy on your kids, but dont get mad when they resent you for their rest of their youth and early adult hood. my mom found some condoms once (cuz she was snooping) and threw a fucking fit. i remember the day and the convo. to this day, i never forgot about how she over-reacted and snooped. never fuckin forgot it. i can only imagine how embarrased i would be if they ever saw the depraved shit i looked at online. it would be embarrasing for BOTH of us, so im glad they never did.
                      "Feel ill as fuck - not sure if it is protein powder or tren?"-bigdog123

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by lil mama View Post
                        I have two teenagers both boys and the computer is off the dining room( NO DOORS ...ITS AN OPEN AREA)....ya wanna use it then by all means log on and use it but be certain mama is watching you and if ya think ya can be slick then think again. Thus far I have had no problems with them logging on and using it and they have yet hid anything from me but one thing for sure is we keep an open line of communication and these lil men are open with me about girls, sex and who they befriend. I know its not easy for teens to be open and trusting of parents all the time but if ya give them the right to think that they are entitled to sooo much privacy and that they are deserving of stuff in general when they are disrespectful, rude and feel entitled to more than what they are owed then ya might wanna rethink who is the authority figure in the home. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO MAKE YOUR CHILD MAD at YOU for asking questions or being an involved parent...its part of our job...to protect them and love them as well as to guide them in the right direction as they grow into adults and sure THEY WILL GET MAD BUT they do get over it especially if they know your doing it for their safety and out of love and concern.

                        One thing for sure is if he/she is shutting the screen on comp when ya walk in its because they are doing and saying something they are not suppose to do and something you would not approve of.
                        Excellent post mamma! Some of the people replying here sound like entitled little brats to me...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Beast In The Basement View Post
                          Excellent post mamma! Some of the people replying here sound like entitled little brats to me...
                          If you're referring to me, you couldn't be more wrong. None of what I'm arguing even applies to me, I'm 20 dude. I suggested that parents try talking to their kids before spying on them. Most parents don't take nearly enough time to talk or really have anything to do with their kids these days, they let the TV do it for them. Does suggesting that parents consider attempting to develop a relationship with their kids over giving them zero trust and respect (which is exactly what happens when you start tracking them while they're not aware of it) equate being an entitled little brat to you, and if yes, how so? Look at what the guy wrote, his first reaction seemed to be to monitor her activity rather than talking to her.

                          Sure, if the child refuses to communicate, I might see your point. Even then, I bet you most people haven't shared EVERY detail of their life with their parents as a teenager, and they probably wouldn't be comfortable with it either. Yet when they themselves have children, all of that goes out the window and rights become "entitlements". Did your parents know what you were doing 24/7 until the age of 18? Would you have be fine if they monitored your every move without your knowledge because you're not "entitled" to any trust regardless of how you behave? Would you be fine if someone did that to you now (considering you're an adult, you should be even more responsible and thus have even less to hide)?

                          I'm not saying you should just let your kids mind their own business all the time, there are certainly cases were some response is necessary, but not if it's your own fault for not knowing what's going on with your kids because you basically leave it up to others to raise them for you, and that's honestly your average family now. Your kids will never look at you as an authority if you're only there when you're looking for something to punish them for and absent at any other point in their life. They might fear you, but they won't ever respect you.

                          If you have to install software on your kids computer to have even the slightest clue about what they're up to in general (which is not the norm for someone who makes an honest attempt at having a relationship with their children), chances are you did something wrong as a parent in the first place. It shouldn't be NECESSARY to do that if you have a good relationship with your child. Kids don't "change" from generation to generation. Their environments do, and a big part of that environment is their parents. So many people fail to take any form of responsibility or part in their children's lives, yet insist that they can't be trusted or take any responsibility for themselves. Give them the opportunity to take responsibility and they are much more likely to do so both now and in the future, provided you have given them a solid foundation on how to behave. If they fail to do so, then you can adjust accordingly.
                          You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?

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                          • #14
                            This is how I ended my first post in this thread:
                            I say talk first. Then if still skeptical, set up monitoring/filter. If behavior and actions become really bad, time for some faux accounts and/or restriction from cyberspace (computer, smartphone etc.)
                            .

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              A sound beating should work.

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