Wow this thread has really gone to shit since I left.
And please don't say it's different. I better myself through practice. Acquire new techniques, get stronger, faster, not unlike a bodybuilder training for a show (which I've also done). But in the end the display of all that hard work (in the ring or octagon) is a thing a beauty. I feel the same about the bodybuilding process.
With all due respect if you do it for just for yourself, as you so vigorously claim, why don't you just pose in the basement of your house alone? Quite bodybuilding if you're so unhappy... seriously, if you just like to lift and better yourself just do that. No on wants you to be unhappy.
All the best to you as well.