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Thread: Ladies.. answer me this..

  1. #1
    Behemoth
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    Default Ladies.. answer me this..

    I have a very hard time understanding this about women and it may be a lost cause to ask it here because its a BB forum but..

    I cannot for the life of me understand why not all women want to be fit?

    So many girls out there are self conscience, unhappy with how they look.. how clothes fit.. how they feel...etc if a guy such as a bf or husband brings up their weight or maybe they should work out more or eat healthier.. they get SO mad, Its like the ultimate offensive thing to say.

    I try to better myself every single day as a person, as a man, as a whatever.. esp. my physique because it makes me feel good. I have my shit days or weeks where I dont do cardio or eat well but overall I live the fitness lifestyle for sure.. I want to be comfortable and confident in my own skin. MOST women are not.

    Why dont most girls want to be fit, sexy and all around perfect.. they insist on being inactive, drinking, eating poorly and it upsets me... so many girls have that "potential" to be beautiful (and Im sick of hearing.. they are all beautiful... love the woman for who they are...etc) because deep down those same girls who are sloppy, or fat or obese or whatever are unhappy and do not like their bodies...and I see girls who may have gorgeous faces, but have a good 20lbs of fat on their bodies that throw everything off...

    dont judge me for picking apart women because guys do it too.. and esp to ourselves. just as woman do.. only difference is we act on it to change. Im a perfectionist in a way and think all ppl should be healthy and active, but particuarly I wonder why those girls who are ashamed or embarassed by their bodies.. why they dont get fit and sexy? Whats stopping them from achieving their ideal body and feeling confident. I am not talking about the ones happy with being out of shape...the ones who WANT to look and feel sexy and confident but choose not to do anything

    /rant

  2. #2
    Little Guy Adina Zanolli's Avatar
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    I think maybe you would have to delve in deeper to each one's personal life to find the answer. It's not a cookie cutter thing.

    Me for instance... I topped out at 256 pounds.

    I was told from the time I was a baby that I was too ugly to take a picture of. I was told my father's leaving was my fault. The list could go on, and on, and on...

    It wasn't as simple as just deciding to get fit.

    For me it was more of a conquering one thing at a time.

    When you look at someone who is overweight...you really don't know what might have been the trigger that started her down that path.

    Yes, there comes a time when you have to decide to rise above where you came from, but it's not always as simple as it sounds.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by FitAdina View Post
    I think maybe you would have to delve in deeper to each one's personal life to find the answer. It's not a cookie cutter thing.

    Me for instance... I topped out at 256 pounds.

    I was told from the time I was a baby that I was too ugly to take a picture of. I was told my father's leaving was my fault. The list could go on, and on, and on...

    It wasn't as simple as just deciding to get fit.

    For me it was more of a conquering one thing at a time.

    When you look at someone who is overweight...you really don't know what might have been the trigger that started her down that path.

    Yes, there comes a time when you have to decide to rise above where you came from, but it's not always as simple as it sounds.

    Ya very true. good post

    I know for someone I know they were aneorexic at one point and never wants to be skinny like that again but at same time makes references about their goals and how if they wanted to get there they could yet never make any progress.. complain about how they look..etc and i tell them do it! then they say they will yet never do.. viscious cycle

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    Beast connstellation's Avatar
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    Most people, not just women, know what they need to do to look or feel better. The difficulty lies in finding the spark to do it. Those of us who are here enjoy movement, activity, the thrill of setting and achieving a goal. For most humans, we are the exception. I think that it's a situation in which they just cannot find what they need to turn the corner. Then again, some of us have an "awakening". Mine came when I took a good hard look at my family's health history, and I decided that I'd take every unfair advantage I could get and took control of myself once and for all.
    SnakeBite Racing

  5. #5
    Beach Body
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    Because most women like most men, don't want to put in any effort to be fit or healthy. Just like fit I topped out at 263. I'm in the best shape physically and mentally at 40 then ever.

  6. #6

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    Women tend to trade being overweight for being obsessed with training and eating in the opposite direction

    Only the strong minded smart ones can truly change without going the other way with their OCD type issue

    It consumes some women when they get down after being large , they do more things that pertain to thinking about and acting on diets and exercise than they actually live any other part of their life

    in effect trading one compulsive addicting behavior for another

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    Little Guy Adina Zanolli's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bright bird View Post
    Women tend to trade being overweight for being obsessed with training and eating in the opposite direction

    Only the strong minded smart ones can truly change without going the other way with their OCD type issue

    It consumes some women when they get down after being large , they do more things that pertain to thinking about and acting on diets and exercise than they actually live any other part of their life

    in effect trading one compulsive addicting behavior for another
    I did that for a while!

    Because what really happens is you trade eating for gyming!

    To really fix things, you have to figure out how to deal with stress sans eating or going to the gym. At some point, after the weight comes off, the hard part is just becoming normal.

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    Mass Monster teddy788's Avatar
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    it has to do with where each person's pain point is. When does it get to the point where it is more painful to maintain the status quo vs. making a real change in your life. I know i'm not a girl, but I've gotten to the age where I've witnessed and observered enough people to see that this is a major truth that doesn't just apply to getting fit.
    Try not to let hurdles hold you down because they will always be there.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by FitAdina View Post
    I did that for a while!

    Because what really happens is you trade eating for gyming!

    To really fix things, you have to figure out how to deal with stress sans eating or going to the gym. At some point, after the weight comes off, the hard part is just becoming normal.
    Brilliant reply , you have it all together

    I have seen women lose the weight then become consumed with working out / dieting / and looking for an endless supply of attention for doing so .

    Akin to re-born religious folk , they are ALL about telling everyone constantly and looking for everyone to give them validity .

    They suffer from low self esteem when they're large , and when they lose the weight they don't build themselves up in any positive way . It just seems so pointless to not make more of yourself when you lose what has been a burden .


    I can imagine you have plenty of varied interests and keep busy , which is why you are making the best of your present life instead of making a spectacle of your past

  10. #10
    Little Guy Adina Zanolli's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bright bird View Post
    Brilliant reply , you have it all together

    I have seen women lose the weight then become consumed with working out / dieting / and looking for an endless supply of attention for doing so .

    Akin to re-born religious folk , they are ALL about telling everyone constantly and looking for everyone to give them validity .

    They suffer from low self esteem when they're large , and when they lose the weight they don't build themselves up in any positive way . It just seems so pointless to not make more of yourself when you lose what has been a burden .


    I can imagine you have plenty of varied interests and keep busy , which is why you are making the best of your present life instead of making a spectacle of your past
    Statistically, over 90% of women who lose weight like I did gain it back. It's closer to 95%.

    I have a friend who lost 100 and is slowly gaining it back. She came to me for help.

    I told her, "You have to figure out what 95% cannot, and that is, how to deal with your feelings in a way that isn't self-destructive."

    Overweight people eat to make feelings go away. You can't feel sad, or happy for that matter, if you've stuffed yourself to the point of misery.

    Of course, you also can't feel it if you exercise to extremes either. You just feel how tired, sore, or achy you are.

    It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I just had to learn to cry when I was sad, laugh when I was happy, fix what I could, and move on past what I couldn't.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by FitAdina View Post
    Statistically, over 90% of women who lose weight like I did gain it back. It's closer to 95%.

    I have a friend who lost 100 and is slowly gaining it back. She came to me for help.

    I told her, "You have to figure out what 95% cannot, and that is, how to deal with your feelings in a way that isn't self-destructive."

    Overweight people eat to make feelings go away. You can't feel sad, or happy for that matter, if you've stuffed yourself to the point of misery.

    Of course, you also can't feel it if you exercise to extremes either. You just feel how tired, sore, or achy you are.

    It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I just had to learn to cry when I was sad, laugh when I was happy, fix what I could, and move on past what I couldn't.

    PERFECTLY SAID Fit, I used to eat my feelings, now I just go running lol

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Newmom View Post
    PERFECTLY SAID Fit, I used to eat my feelings, now I just go running lol
    that means you've missed her point

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by bright bird View Post
    that means you've missed her point
    actually I didn't. I'm training for a half and full marathon, so I run alot. I was kidding.

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Newmom View Post
    I was kidding.
    oh , usually someone would have said "just joking" so that wasn't clear

    maybe running has taken the place of over eating for you ?

    doing a half marathon and a full marathon could be equated with over compensating

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by FitAdina View Post
    Statistically, over 90% of women who lose weight like I did gain it back. It's closer to 95%.

    I have a friend who lost 100 and is slowly gaining it back. She came to me for help.

    I told her, "You have to figure out what 95% cannot, and that is, how to deal with your feelings in a way that isn't self-destructive."

    Overweight people eat to make feelings go away. You can't feel sad, or happy for that matter, if you've stuffed yourself to the point of misery.

    Of course, you also can't feel it if you exercise to extremes either. You just feel how tired, sore, or achy you are.

    It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I just had to learn to cry when I was sad, laugh when I was happy, fix what I could, and move on past what I couldn't.
    I totally agree--> "deal with your feelings in a way that isnt self-destructive."

    Most overweight women turn to food. Its like a drug for them. Basically this is because its what they have been in the habit of doing for the past couple of years. It helps if you think of ways to make the blues go away yet still stay motivated to stay fit. Think of ways to enjoy exercise. But keep in mind not to be so obsessed about it that it eats you up.

  16. #16
    Spotter MrsHeavyiron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meathead. View Post
    I have a very hard time understanding this about women and it may be a lost cause to ask it here because its a BB forum but..

    I cannot for the life of me understand why not all women want to be fit?

    So many girls out there are self conscience, unhappy with how they look.. how clothes fit.. how they feel...etc if a guy such as a bf or husband brings up their weight or maybe they should work out more or eat healthier.. they get SO mad, Its like the ultimate offensive thing to say.

    I try to better myself every single day as a person, as a man, as a whatever.. esp. my physique because it makes me feel good. I have my shit days or weeks where I dont do cardio or eat well but overall I live the fitness lifestyle for sure.. I want to be comfortable and confident in my own skin. MOST women are not.

    Why dont most girls want to be fit, sexy and all around perfect.. they insist on being inactive, drinking, eating poorly and it upsets me... so many girls have that "potential" to be beautiful (and Im sick of hearing.. they are all beautiful... love the woman for who they are...etc) because deep down those same girls who are sloppy, or fat or obese or whatever are unhappy and do not like their bodies...and I see girls who may have gorgeous faces, but have a good 20lbs of fat on their bodies that throw everything off...

    dont judge me for picking apart women because guys do it too.. and esp to ourselves. just as woman do.. only difference is we act on it to change. Im a perfectionist in a way and think all ppl should be healthy and active, but particuarly I wonder why those girls who are ashamed or embarassed by their bodies.. why they dont get fit and sexy? Whats stopping them from achieving their ideal body and feeling confident. I am not talking about the ones happy with being out of shape...the ones who WANT to look and feel sexy and confident but choose not to do anything

    /rant
    Well maybe you could start by asking yourself why all men don't want to be fit. But since you asked us women... I think it is one of two things - Lack of discipline or laziness

  17. #17
    Mass Monster teddy788's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsHeavyiron View Post
    Well maybe you could start by asking yourself why all men don't want to be fit. But since you asked us women... I think it is one of two things - Lack of discipline or laziness

    It can also be a lack of respect for oneself. I believe a lot of people have been torn down so much during their lives that they create a mental block such that they can't love or respect themselves. This manifests itself in many ways. One of these ways is to let oneself go and get unhealthy and overweight. Leaning on food is a quick fix for feeling good or filling a hole that can't be filled. This also usually spills over to the way these people take care of other things and treat other people. There are many root causes, from a screwed up family life to a poor environment. The only way to get over this hurdle is to ultimately address the root causes. We are fortunate on this forum to have more than a handful of good people here who have been able to climb that very mountain. Instead of asking the question, I would look to folks like that and learn from their examples.
    Try not to let hurdles hold you down because they will always be there.

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