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Most cringey stories guys...c’mon. Give ‘em up!

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  • #16
    Here’s another.

    Backstage at the Arnold with Ron, I start wandering around, mingling, then start chatting with one of the European officials.

    He starts introducing me to his national team of amateurs doing the Arnold amateur, they’re all wearing lanyards around their necks with their names on.

    He was like in his 60’s, not the most umm, handsome chap. He introduces me to this very attractive girl, I’m guessing 21 years old, tops.

    I saw on her lanyard she had the same, last unusual name as him, so, wanting to be a bit of a smartass I said “is this your daughter?”

    He replied...

    ”No, it is my wife”.
    MD Global Muscle Radio ep.40-https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-MIKWx8sAcw&t=5319s

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Giles View Post
      Here’s another.

      Backstage at the Arnold with Ron, I start wandering around, mingling, then start chatting with one of the European officials.

      He starts introducing me to his national team of amateurs doing the Arnold amateur, they’re all wearing lanyards around their necks with their names on.

      He was like in his 60’s, not the most umm, handsome chap. He introduces me to this very attractive girl, I’m guessing 21 years old, tops.

      I saw on her lanyard she had the same, last unusual name as him, so, wanting to be a bit of a smartass I said “is this your daughter?”

      He replied...

      ”No, it is my wife”.
      Nice awkward moment.
      I stop me....no one else does.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by DerekRJohnson View Post

        Nice awkward moment.
        Could have been worse, I nearly said “granddaughter”.

        Phew.
        MD Global Muscle Radio ep.40-https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-MIKWx8sAcw&t=5319s

        Comment


        • #19
          I have so many I don't know where to start, but figured I would share 2, both inspired by this thread.


          2008 prep-- natty-- second show I'm doing, and doing it with my friend Adam McVey-- we get a "loading protocol" that requires eating a lot of McDonalds double-cheeseburgers the night prior. The show is on 11/1/2008 (NPC Midwestern Ironman)-- so the night before was Halloween. We realize McDonalds won't be open early in the morning, so we head out the night before, get there, order a huge sack of burgers-- all the girls behind the counter are starting at us (in our sweats and Pro Tan)-- and Adam (being Adam) says, "Yeah, can you believe we eat like this, and look this good?" So of course, us being the young doucehbags we are, we decided to peel down IN THE MIDDLE OF A MCDONALDS, get on the tables, and pose down for all the teenage girls. Cameras were whipped out left and right, and I believe there used to be footage of it on MySpace. Frankly, more gratifying than standing on stage, lol.

          And to add to the shit stories (pretty sure EVERY serious lifter has a "shit my pants squatting" story at some point in their life, so I'm going to try a slightly different path):

          2014 prep with Matt Porter-- best condition I ever hit, but digestion was a wreck by the end-- had me eating 99% lean ground turkey and oat bran (which basically turns into cement in your stomach)-- and I hadn't taken a shit in DAYS. The night before the show, knowing my stomach was all fucked up from not having shit (despite getting a colonic 3 days out)-- sitting on the toilet, sticking my finger UP MY OWN ASS to try to pull some of the shit out. Not my proudest moment-- but I also had my biggest class win EVER the next day (2014 Emerald Cup superheavies). Had a former competitor client (good friend) who had been a heroin addict back in the day (before bodybuilding)-- shared the story with him, and he said, "Oh yeah, ex opiate addict, I know how THAT goes, been there done that!" Made me feel SLIGHTLY less horrible about myself, lol:!


          Any self-respecting bodybuilding should have some good shit stories-- just go watch Fouad's podcast, comes up EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.


          -David

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          • #20
            2010 and my coach had me cut water thursday night before the show on saturday, starting shitloading on cookies, hamburgers etc friday morning.
            Spraytanned, carrying a huge bag of cookies i came along to a warehouse shared by this supplementscompany and a online perfumecompany were a bunch of girls stood packing perfumebottles for mailing.
            So this spraytanned guy, with veins on his head, chewing cookies and carrying a bag full of them asks the girls if he could use their toilet, right next to were they was standing working.
            Remained in there for a good 45 minutes cause everything had stopped moving, couldnt take a shit but struggled trying to.
            It was kind of awkward giving up and unlocking the toiletdoor going out passed the girls again...

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            • #21
              Told this story in the latest Global Muscle, but was at an all night party once, had legs the next morning and started to get really hungry.

              Only food I could find was some Kitekat and the Go Cat dry crunchy stuff. So, I got stuck in.

              It’s LEGS man! C’monnnnn.
              MD Global Muscle Radio ep.40-https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-MIKWx8sAcw&t=5319s

              Comment

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