Is Fat Acceptance Being Normalized? MD Power Hour E18

[lifepulse]

Taking command of your life, body, and happiness. Admirable man

My parents were legit hippies who ran away from home when my dad was 18 and my mom was 16. He was the local weed dealer in high school. Once he got out on his own, he could work nothing but menial labor jobs. He drove a garbage truck for 40 years, continued to smoke weed chronically when I was a kid, then later turned to booze. I love my parents, but my father might be the most uneducated person I have ever met -- literally has the mindset of a child, still at 70 years old -- and has never taken personal responsibility for anything in his life.

I "blame" (or thank) that upbringing for a lot of who I am today. I read my ass off as a kid growing up, and always tried as hard as I could at everything I did (to a maniacal degree). I excelled in school, always (except a few years of high school, more because my attitude was delinquent than for any other reason) -- but I finished my associates degrees with a 4.0 and university with a 3.96. And so on.

I could tell that nobody was going to save me, or take care of me, from very young. So I kinda' became "the parent", very young. By the time I was 13, friends were starting to dabble with weed and booze, and I always refused -- I was "hardcore straight-edge" until I was in my 30s (so I didn't wreck my brain).

Got to university, studied philosophy -- because I could see the larger applications in life, and I was never really taught legitimate values in my family. So I had to discover my own values by studying the great thinkers in history.

Then the body thing, after college -- I knew how smart and hard working I was, and I had tried getting in shape a few times when younger, but never got anywhere with it (because I didn't know what I was doing, didn't understand nutrition). So after college, I studied for a year straight, reading Muscular Development from cover to cover every month, plus every other source I could get my hands on.

A year later, I started my journey (September 17th, 2003).

A few years later, I got to stand on stage with you, my friend -- and show off all that hard work.


I believe we are who we chose to be, for the most part -- we all have tendencies (genetic, behavioral) -- we all have limitations (mental, physical, genetics) --- and we all have the influences that impinge upon us (societal, political, social media). But that's true for every human on the planet. Within that context, we have the choice to "fall into line" and be a slave to our genetics/influences/situation, or we have the choice to bust our ass, put in the work, and become something more-advanced than the hand we were dealt by circumstance.


As you know, I had spinal cord surgery last week, I was in the hospital for 3 days. My first day home, I rested. My second day home, I worked a 10 hour day on the computer, catching up with client work. A full week after the surgery, I'm getting around like I never had surgery.

You can choose to be a bad motherfucker, or you can choose to be a pus -- and you then reinforce that over time. At the age of 43, I can honestly say that there isn't much on this planet that scares me now -- because I know who the hell I am, and I know what I am capable of.

Sorry for the self promotion; I just find this to be an interesting topic, especially in the modern era of whining about circumstance.

[Bestia]

What you just mapped out is "the magic pill" that everyone always is in search of. People in some fantasy mission to failure - I'm going to use 8 minute abs to get in shape, or more recently try this water "hack" to shed fat weight, etc. I dropped 17lbs in 2 days eating pizza and ice cream.

NO!

It takes true desire and commitment + sacrifice, discomfort, and inconvenience + plus self education (true learning not just wrote memory) + HARD ASS WORK.

That's it. That is the formula to success and achieving ones goals. It always has been and it always will be.

[lifepulse]

Funny you say that. As my training business grew, I finally had to bite the bullet and start putting up some promotional stuff on Facebook, circa 2015 (physique transformations and shit). I didn't want it to be "salesy" and scammy like the stuff that most people put out.

So the tagline for my training company was always: "Hard Work. Consistency. Time".

Twenty years working as a trainer, EVERYBODY wants "the magic pill". And what you have to "sell them" is that there IS NO magic pill -- it's hard work, consistency, and time.

I told every one of my clients that right from the jump -- and if they couldn't hear it, and accept it, I shook their hand and showed them the door. Which is why we racked up so many success stories -- we pre-selected for sane people willing to put in the work, and tell the jokers to keep on shuffling.

[Big Beat]

I think women are more likely sensitive about their weight.

Most guys don’t give a shit if they are carrying 15 or 20lbs extra especially if well settled in a relationship

Society probably puts more pressure on women

[Big Beat]

Some people can be happy with their fat provided they are not trapped in a bed and can have some mobility to do daily activities.

And heath/longevity, let's be sincere, it is a secondary addition for people who interesting in bodybulding as young people. Most of us want to train because it is fun or challenging, and do diet because we want to look good, we are not thinking about anything else.

I agree with your longevity point, lots of people just want to look younger


At 50, though, I do think more about trying to avoid serious disease and the most common illnesses leading to death


Cancer: 31%
• Diseases of the circulatory system: 29%
• Disease of the respiratory system: 13%
• Mental and behavioural disorders: 6%
• Diseases of the nervous system: 5%
• External injuries and poisoning: 4%
• Diseases of the digestive system: 4%
• Other causes: 8%

[Beti ona]

I can speak here with authority/first-hand experience.


I weighed 10lbs at birth, and I was always overweight growing up. Not sloppy morbidly obese, but fat enough to where I couldn't do the same things that other "normal" kids could do. In gym class growing up, I couldn't climb the ropes, I could never do a pullup, I could never do a situp -- when we had to run the mile at the end of the year, I dreaded it -- I wasn't athletic or good at sports -- I always had to shop in the husky section (fat kid section) -- and I was that way from the age of 1yr old, until the age of 24 years old (when I started bodybuilding).


During those years, I got teased by other kids in school. It hurt some, but I never let it define me or crush me. I started playing the drums very young, and I was an accomplished student, so I had other things that made me feel self-worth and accomplishment. My self-esteem was never based 100% on my physical appearance, and I never got all that upset when I was teased. I would just throw it back at the bully.


But during those first 24 years of life, I didn't like my body -- I didn't understand why I was fat, even though I ate sort of healthy, didn't eat fast food, and even though I was fairly active. It felt sort of "unfair", like I was born with the wrong genetics to represent my spirit. Hence deciding to change it after college, and get into bodybuilding.


Once I lost most of the body fat and built some functional muscle -- it opened up completely new doors of "feeling good" -- being able to work hard and not get winded -- being able to shop for clothes that fit somewhat normal, all that stuff.


I never dwelled in my fatdom like many do. But I also always knew it was undesirable, and that I would feel better -- physically AND emotionally -- if I made the effort to change it. That took educating myself, and then installing certain mechanisms of discipline (diet and training). The discipline itself is what made me feel the MOST better -- knowing that I now had some control over my OWN life, and could make my own informed decisions.


Once I went down the bodybuilding route, I became so much more physically functional -- and that was an amazing feeling. Body finally matched mind and spirit.


So you're right, you can be fat and still be fairly happy. I was. But I also didn't cry in my cereal during those years if somebody called me "fat". People call people things. It's the responsibility of the person being called something undesirable, to learn to ignore it and move on with their life. It's not sane to try to censor the words and thoughts of an entire society, to protect your fragile feelings, when your feelings themselves are due to your own decisions in life (mostly).

My problem is to define as a universal rule how one can or cannot be happy. I think this is more of an individual path.

In fact, I think the only way to be happy is to be either stupid or unconscious, which is the opposite of seeking knowledge. The people who have suffered the most throughout history have always been the most incisive in that search.

We can agree on wellness when you have a healthy and functional body.

In your personal case, I can understand it, not for having been genetically fat, but small, weak and not very athletic. Being bad or unskilled at sports growing up is damning.

I don't like euphemisms, that means calling someone fat is not an insult, it's a description of reality. George Carlin has an outstanding monologue on this, he talks about the pussification of society by calling things with ridiculous names.

[lifepulse]

My problem is to define as a universal rule how one can or cannot be happy. I think this is more of an individual path.

In fact, I think the only way to be happy is to be either stupid or unconscious, which is the opposite of seeking knowledge. The people who have suffered the most throughout history have always been the most incisive in that search.

We can agree on wellness when you have a healthy and functional body.

In your personal case, I can understand it, not for having been genetically fat, but small, weak and not very athletic. Being bad or unskilled at sports growing up is damning.

I don't like euphemisms, that means calling someone fat is not an insult, it's a description of reality. George Carlin has an outstanding monologue on this, he talks about the pussification of society by calling things with ridiculous names.

I agree with the euphemisms part. And I love that Carlin sketch.

I was never small -- I was always the biggest kid in my class, and that probably helped me to not have as many self-esteem issues -- even though I was fat, I was still the strongest kid in gym class, good at stuff like shotput, or by end of high school, jumping into a weight training class and being able to lift just as heavy as all of the football players.


With "universal definition of happy" -- I think if you dig deep enough, there's a problem with the question itself. You're not really SUPPOSED to "be happy" -- all of the time -- like life is some grand carnival where it's 100% excitement and joy. That's not how life actually works.

Rather, at best, you're supposed to "be okay" -- not terrible sad or depressed, not terribly anxious or fearful, not terribly happy or overjoyed. The moments of joy are supposed to be moments, not an enduring state. And the same for being sad or fearful.

I think part of the problem is that people have lost sight of that fact -- that we do not, in fact, live in some perfect Garden of Eden -- that pain and suffering and struggle are intrinsic parts of the human experience, and it's how you DEAL with those times that determines how you REALLY end up feeling.

Hence the ideas of Stoicism or Buddhism -- learning to watch your feelings with a detached curiosity, identifying them and honoring them, but same time, not collapsing because of them.

Life will always have shitty feelings. Question is, can you walk through them to better times? The idea that we're "supposed to be happy" is already kinda' silly, in my opinion. At best, we're "supposed to be okay" -- life is going fine, no major problems to deal with at the moment -- with that occasional jump of joy here and there.

Consumer capitalism has put that faulty idea out there, social media has reinforced it.

[bigmikecox]

I think women are more likely sensitive about their weight.

Most guys don’t give a shit if they are carrying 15 or 20lbs extra especially if well settled in a relationship

Society probably puts more pressure on women

[bigmikecox]

I agree with your longevity point, lots of people just want to look younger


At 50, though, I do think more about trying to avoid serious disease and the most common illnesses leading to death


Cancer: 31%
• Diseases of the circulatory system: 29%
• Disease of the respiratory system: 13%
• Mental and behavioural disorders: 6%
• Diseases of the nervous system: 5%
• External injuries and poisoning: 4%
• Diseases of the digestive system: 4%
• Other causes: 8%

Same here bro!!! I want my insides to look younger! And especially after some recent bber deaths, it makes you pay more attention to your health