Walking Beast's Journal

[Walking Beast]

[Walking Beast]

Feeder Routine (that night)




Alternating Dumbbell Curls


15x50


Dumbbell Hammer curls


15x50


Alternating Dumbbell Curl with reverse curl negative


15x50

[RMB]

This'll work or nothing will. Max input.

[Walking Beast]

This'll work or nothing will. Max input.

Appreciate that shit brother

Its mainly going to come down to staying ontop of the force feeding. Last few days has been weak eating. At this stage I need to push a certain amount of food consistantly to really move up in size. If not, then I may grow at a very slow rate, as I have been, but it would be better if I pushed eating harder. Digestion is fucked up and sometimes acid is real bad. Will try to grind out what I can though during the next 6 or 7 weeks.

KILL THAT SHIT !!

[RMB]

Appreciate that shit brother

Its mainly going to come down to staying ontop of the force feeding. Last few days has been weak eating. At this stage I need to push a certain amount of food consistantly to really move up in size. If not, then I may grow at a very slow rate, as I have been, but it would be better if I pushed eating harder. Digestion is fucked up and sometimes acid is real bad. Will try to grind out what I can though during the next 6 or 7 weeks.

KILL THAT SHIT !!

I use a second pillow always at the start of sleep and ditch it after a couple of hours. Never had acid rising since at night.

Yep the battle of the food is harder than the gym. I'm probably not eating enough so that's something I need to adddress.

[Walking Beast]

I use a second pillow always at the start of sleep and ditch it after a couple of hours. Never had acid rising since at night.

Yep the battle of the food is harder than the gym. I'm probably not eating enough so that's something I need to adddress.

Nice. Ive tried that. I used to use 3 pillows due to sleeping on my side. The wider I got the further my head was from the pillows. Now I use one large pillow. My head is not completely level but its been decent. When I was stacking pillows my neck was getting much more strain. So I stopped and it alleviated some of that.

The acid never improved , even with more pillows. The only thing I havent tried yet is elevating the back end of my bed. My acid issue is during the entire day. Not just a sleep issue. Wakes me up alot and fucks up my sleep but its a constant thing.

I admit now my drive is maybe at 50 percent. As mentioned I stopped really giving a fuck about getting a little bigger at this stage. I just realized its all food and drugs beyond this point and I dont get a hell of alot of satisfaction with adding a few inches on my arm or chest, or where ever anymore. Ive got nothing left to prove to myself after 21 years. Ive already added over 20 inches to back/chest, probably over 10 inches to arms, etc. So a little more is not a huge deal to me. As intense as my training appears its really only about half the intensity I applied in the past.

I give alot of intensity to individual sets but I dont grind out the volume at that quality like I did in alot of areas. I also dont force myself to eat until I vomit and shit like that. Im more interested now in continuing to grow with some balance in my life. So Im not gonna bust my ass hardcore with the eating now. Ill try to eat enough to reach new size for this growth phase. Then other parts of the year are just maintenance or slow growth. I just aim to get a little bigger each year, which ive done since ive been back in 2008 or so.

KILL THAT SHIT

[RMB]

Nice. Ive tried that. I used to use 3 pillows due to sleeping on my side. The wider I got the further my head was from the pillows. Now I use one large pillow. My head is not completely level but its been decent. When I was stacking pillows my neck was getting much more strain. So I stopped and it alleviated some of that.

The acid never improved , even with more pillows. The only thing I havent tried yet is elevating the back end of my bed. My acid issue is during the entire day. Not just a sleep issue. Wakes me up alot and fucks up my sleep but its a constant thing.

I admit now my drive is maybe at 50 percent. As mentioned I stopped really giving a fuck about getting a little bigger at this stage. I just realized its all food and drugs beyond this point and I dont get a hell of alot of satisfaction with adding a few inches on my arm or chest, or where ever anymore. Ive got nothing left to prove to myself after 21 years. Ive already added over 20 inches to back/chest, probably over 10 inches to arms, etc. So a little more is not a huge deal to me. As intense as my training appears its really only about half the intensity I applied in the past.

I give alot of intensity to individual sets but I dont grind out the volume at that quality like I did in alot of areas. I also dont force myself to eat until I vomit and shit like that. Im more interested now in continuing to grow with some balance in my life. So Im not gonna bust my ass hardcore with the eating now. Ill try to eat enough to reach new size for this growth phase. Then other parts of the year are just maintenance or slow growth. I just aim to get a little bigger each year, which ive done since ive been back in 2008 or so.

KILL THAT SHIT

Sounds totally reasonable. You have good size and if you can mitigate the life drain and physical damage by taking maintainance periods and slowing the growth rate then that is only good sense.

Me, I'll take this next 12 months to push envelops I never have. Then I'll be able to judge what could be done in each year onwards. I'll be making the decisions you are in a year.

[Walking Beast]

Sounds totally reasonable. You have good size and if you can mitigate the life drain and physical damage by taking maintainance periods and slowing the growth rate then that is only good sense.

Me, I'll take this next 12 months to push envelops I never have. Then I'll be able to judge what could be done in each year onwards. I'll be making the decisions you are in a year.

Appreciate that shit

Yea, I cant say Im even close to satisfied but when I look at it with some logical reasoning, it doesnt make a hell of alot of sense for me to completely grind myself into dust. I view myself as small and fat most of the time. When I see videos and see that im filling out this massive oversized shirt more, and see other people walking by, I get more of a scale appreciation of my size. I never achieved the feeling I wanted and I think I never can. My uncle was the same way. A mass monster but always felt small. The mind continually twists with this shit. Ive always been more strength and brutal training oriented. Now I have more visible size after all these years. More because my mental demons give me an extreme intensity and adrenaline. I remember early on the measurements I have now seemed impossible , even from a raw body mass perspective. Im now only an inch off from my long term goal of 57 inch chest (though it changed to 60 at some point, the goal) , so when I put things into perspective, there has been massive changes.

I approached the shit in a self destructive way with destructive goals, more of an exorcism then effective training. Im trying now to get away somewhat from that thought process. Its difficult because thats how my mind functions. All or nothing, no real balance. Ive also programmed myself to be that way to achieve certain goals and to just vent demons. So its definately not a switch. It takes alot of reprogramming and trying uncomfortable things. My "comfort zone" is to abuse the shit out of myself. I also realised I wont last much longer if I do that at this point. Ive already done extensive damage. Id rather work towards more balance (never a normal balance) and be able to enjoy the shit somewhat. It was often almost a pure grind. Dont get me wrong I loved the training initially and the vent, but when its 6-8 hours of failure training and force feeding all day, it gets old fucking fast.

Im 35 but I did accelerated damage to myself by training with bad intentions. When I was 23, after 9 years of straight training, I took myself out for the first time, for two years. Two ruptured disks at that time. Last time I checked I had 6 but didnt even really notice those. Just kept grinding. I have all kinds of nerve pain and aches all over. Extreme exhaustion, hand numbness, alot of shit. Can always be worse but I also need to try and look at what Im doing to myself now. Even the way I train now, I cant even predict 40 or 45 or anything beyond. Still I have to exercise some restraint with volume and exercise choices, and going super heavy.

Nice. Ultimately I think its important to step back sometimes and fucking think about what youre doing. I know it seems obvious but you can become like a machine over time. Almost automatic in certain areas. Then over time freakish lifting or massive volume become the typical routine and day. Its not exciting its just normal. If I dont do it than there is a deficit in my brain. Like an anger and guilt. Its like a bondage and it started to piss me off over time. Thats why now Im starting to explore my freedom somewhat. If I take long breaks then I still end up yearning to tear shit up again. So I dont think completely eliminating lifting is the answer for me, but I want to make that shit work for me, and not the other way around. Otherwise Ill just end up completely destroyed and in reality what you did in the past really doesnt mean shit. You have to live in the present.

KEEP KILLIN THAT SHIT !!

[RMB]

First of all what I see from your videos.

A big guy that looks dangerous but quiet if left alone. Wants to be left alone. Small no. Short, maybe can't tell but people don't call Pit Bulls 'short' if you are.

What I respect at the moment is strongmen and they all have massive shoulders and traps that make their arms and chests seem less important. Traps say strength.

You already have that look. So what you can do is think which body parts can be maintained big at low cost and which can be sacrificed to a degree.

Look at pictures of strongmen and check which ones you think look fucking brutal. Then look at their arms, forearms legs etc and think did they matter or was there just a size within the size that made it work.

So what I'm saying is you don't have to consider all your muscle groups as stay or go.

I consider arm wrestlers for another brutal look and they just have gnarly arms on almost normal bodies. But they look packing.

So maybe you need to not think like a bodybuilder now and more how you can just look very different physically to the pencil necks.

I always said size or training that can't be maintained week in week out forever is worthless. It's only ever a temporary arrangement.

The mental side. That I know a lot about I've been clinically psycotic, depressed, delusional, and consumed. Terror that no man on earth can make me feel.

How did I achieve any stability again? I slowed down to long cycles between peaks and troughs and listened for tremors like someone living in a fault zone. Still do but I don't realise I am, my mind is. It was freaked out by what happened.

I have a very very odd life in some ways but can come across as super normal. It's an act. I have to protect myself by not being conspicuously nuts.

I'm a creature of mental and social management. Nothing much is natural about me.

[G.I. Bro]

First of all what I see from your videos.

A big guy that looks dangerous but quiet if left alone. Wants to be left alone. Small no. Short, maybe can't tell but people don't call Pit Bulls 'short' if you are.

What I respect at the moment is strongmen and they all have massive shoulders and traps that make their arms and chests seem less important. Traps say strength.

You already have that look. So what you can do is think which body parts can be maintained big at low cost and which can be sacrificed to a degree.

Look at pictures of strongmen and check which ones you think look fucking brutal. Then look at their arms, forearms legs etc and think did they matter or was there just a size within the size that made it work.

So what I'm saying is you don't have to consider all your muscle groups as stay or go.

I consider arm wrestlers for another brutal look and they just have gnarly arms on almost normal bodies. But they look packing.

So maybe you need to not think like a bodybuilder now and more how you can just look very different physically to the pencil necks.

I always said size or training that can't be maintained week in week out forever is worthless. It's only ever a temporary arrangement.

The mental side. That I know a lot about I've been clinically psycotic, depressed, delusional, and consumed. Terror that no man on earth can make me feel.

How did I achieve any stability again? I slowed down to long cycles between peaks and troughs and listened for tremors like someone living in a fault zone. Still do but I don't realise I am, my mind is. It was freaked out by what happened.

I have a very very odd life in some ways but can come across as super normal. It's an act. I have to protect myself by not being conspicuously nuts.

I'm a creature of mental and social management. Nothing much is natural about me.

Great analysis there, bud. Did you notice his impassioned quarter reps of fury...on every fucking movement? Either he's a fucktard or a master time under tension wizard. WHO KNOWS? Btw, your commentary is almost as stupid as his videos. You guys should MEET up, get a beer and mouth breathe together.

[Walking Beast]

First of all what I see from your videos.

A big guy that looks dangerous but quiet if left alone. Wants to be left alone. Small no. Short, maybe can't tell but people don't call Pit Bulls 'short' if you are.

What I respect at the moment is strongmen and they all have massive shoulders and traps that make their arms and chests seem less important. Traps say strength.

You already have that look. So what you can do is think which body parts can be maintained big at low cost and which can be sacrificed to a degree.

Look at pictures of strongmen and check which ones you think look fucking brutal. Then look at their arms, forearms legs etc and think did they matter or was there just a size within the size that made it work.

So what I'm saying is you don't have to consider all your muscle groups as stay or go.

I consider arm wrestlers for another brutal look and they just have gnarly arms on almost normal bodies. But they look packing.

So maybe you need to not think like a bodybuilder now and more how you can just look very different physically to the pencil necks.

I always said size or training that can't be maintained week in week out forever is worthless. It's only ever a temporary arrangement.

The mental side. That I know a lot about I've been clinically psycotic, depressed, delusional, and consumed. Terror that no man on earth can make me feel.

How did I achieve any stability again? I slowed down to long cycles between peaks and troughs and listened for tremors like someone living in a fault zone. Still do but I don't realise I am, my mind is. It was freaked out by what happened.

I have a very very odd life in some ways but can come across as super normal. It's an act. I have to protect myself by not being conspicuously nuts.

I'm a creature of mental and social management. Nothing much is natural about me.

Appreciate that shit brother

5'8 barefoot the last I measured. Traps were always a very dominant area for me. Not so much now since I havent been able to train them directly. Youre right that I dont have a bodybuilding mentality. I was motivated by a freakish look and power but more demonic freakish. Not like balloon legs or some shit like that. I was after a very vicious and non human image, even if it never is truly obtainable. I would see other physiques and try to get an understanding of how the body can develop , but thats about as far as it went. I always realised that each structure is different and I was never going for symettry or balance. Just a vicious overall appearance and raw power. That is the main rush I get from training, and at some point when that is lost, I will likely do something else. Especially once I realize I cant get any stronger or move my appearance any further in that direction. There is some vanity there but not in the typical pretty way. Its also been a tool that has gotten me the desired result. As you mentioned, being left alone.

Im rarely out in public but I like to feel a certain way. That feeling is not really achievable or sustainable but there are moments of satisfaction within it. Sometimes I will cut down on leg training or remove it because I was never into the balloon leg look. Not something I saw as fierce but more clown like. Im training for my ideal view of what I want to achieve specifically. Theres no competition for that, and if there was I wouldnt enter it. It goes completely against my nature to seek approval from other humans, being that I never connected with anyone to begin with. Nor wanted to.

Strongman and powerlifter physique is often much more impressive because there is a real power behind it. I never liked the idea of being large with no power. When I was much smaller, I saw that for many years. People much larger than me who were way weaker. I was never impressed. Same with videos of top bodybuilding competitors. Alot of my warm up sets were heavier than thier working sets. If I was trying to market myself I wouldnt even post those types of lifts in a video.

I post my videos on youtube as a back up and for refference mainly. Its much easier for me to check my latest PRs by going through the videos then through all the text documents and video files on my PC. I share them here because it gives some animation to the journal.

Ive seen some lifters with very specialised strength. Like arm wrestlers. Though some people dont even look like they lift at all, and are very strong. You cant really tell by appearance. Some have a structure that is efficient at a certain lift, technique and specific training to max a lift. You tend to get what you train for as well.

The training will always be a temporary arrangement since we will all end up dead anyway. Im not interested in long life and once I get to a certain point I may not even engage in the shit anymore. If I ever feel like Im training for health than Im done.

I know what you mean about the mental side. That wiring is part of why Ive done things this way for so long. When I find my mind is completely out of it, I will back off now. In the past there were no breaks. Now Im doing shit more based on what I feel. Its a nearly lifelong process so Im not trying to sprint through it anymore. Ive taken enough breaks to know I come back stronger and larger each time. That alleviates stress about taking breaks from the routine. Once youve done it enough times.

The normal appearance thing, I couldnt do it if I tried. Im so detached and dont understand normal social behaviors and things of that nature. Thats why I always had issues with people in general from day one. One of the main reasons. I make it clear that I dont want to be engaged though and people leave me the fuck alone for the most part. Which works out very well overall.

KEEP KILLIN THAT SHIT !!

[Walking Beast]

Feeder Routine (that night)




Alternating Dumbbell Curls


15x50


Dumbbell Hammer curls


15x50


Alternating Dumbbell Curl with reverse curl negative


15x50

[RMB]

Great analysis there, bud. Did you notice his impassioned quarter reps of fury...on every fucking movement? Either he's a fucktard or a master time under tension wizard. WHO KNOWS? Btw, your commentary is almost as stupid as his videos. You guys should MEET up, get a beer and mouth breathe together.

Hi whoever,

Sorry to create an anxiety in you. Not intended. Your anger and insults were a front.

[Walking Beast]

Hi whoever,

Sorry to create an anxiety in you. Not intended. Your anger and insults were a front.

This clown followed me from my duplicate journal on another site. This is unfortunately what you get online. Weak mother fucker when all I have to do is train to make someone cry. Never exchanged a single word. Cant even fathom what would happen to this spineless fuck if I called him a name.

KILL THAT SHIT !!

[RMB]

This clown followed me from my duplicate journal on another site. This is unfortunately what you get online. Weak mother fucker when all I have to do is train to make someone cry. Never exchanged a single word. Cant even fathom what would happen to this spineless fuck if I called him a name.

KILL THAT SHIT !!

I've never seen the guy and he attacks me too. People like that are either fucking huge or pencil necked trolls. I take option two for him.